I'm coming to the conclusion that I'm a binge-writer. Days and weeks go by and I hardly write anything except emails, comments on students' essays, references and recommendations for past and present students, and pages of bibliographical notes in one of my several black notebooks, listing books I never seem to have time to get to the University Library to read. Then for a few days, I binge. I sit at my desk for several days at a time, writing. Almost always because I've run right up against a deadline and if I don't do it now I'll be a failure / ashamed of myself / a laughing stock / have to return the advance, or never go out of the house again. This, as several people have been pointing out to me, is not the way to run a life or, more importantly, a blog. It's meant to have new stuff on it from time to time.
Still, things may be looking up. Despite the fact that my two terms of sabbatical leave are over (and, no, there wasn't a great deal of binge writing to show for it), and I'm back in the deep waters and swift currents of university term, I'm determined to reform myself. Everything (more on what that is later) will be written with time to spare, I've decided. It's time to grow up and be a proper writer. And while I'm about it, the garden needs quite a lot of attention. And I need to lose two stone in weight. As a first step, I've decided always to walk to work. No more dicing with death on the bike, or dodging the rain in the car, it's shanks' pony from now on. I've been helped in this resolve by the Novelist, who gave me a recording of Jim Norton reading Ulysses for my birthday. I've transferred all 25 hours of it to my iPod: by my calculations that should last me for most of the term, allowing for days when I meet someone I know and have real conversation instead. (And if I run out, I've got plenty of Beckett, too. Music is just so, you know, predictable.)
This will make me fitter, more energetic, and better able to overcome my bad writing habits, that's the plan. One of the things about being on leave is that you begin to imagine life will always be like that, so you blithely and enthusiastically say yes to all sorts of requests to write things. I've now got half a dozen chapters to write on a load of different subjects, all fascinating, all absorbing, and all due by this time next year or sooner. And some conference papers to research and write and deliver. But it's term time again, with wall-to-wall teaching and meetings and seminars and all the associated bits of writing that keep me away from what remains of my intellect. So it's a really good thing it's all going to be different from now on. Periods of painful silence will no longer alternate with orgies of productve writing. Poems will appear at regular intervals, books pile neatly up in manuscript, editors raise eyebrows at early delivery of articles. And just to prove I can do it, I'm going to stop writing right now.
I have also vowed to do more writing and make the writing decent and unshameful. I am going to type fast and well and regularly. I shall avoid failure and humiliation. No-one is hassling me for the writing, so I am going to get someone to hassle me for it. It could help. Good luck.
Posted by: Jenn | October 07, 2007 at 08:46 PM
...that's better. I love watching other people working harder. And good on you for spurting it all out - what is this mysterious motivating force concealed within a deadline all about? I know it from my own experience in art practice as well as observe its hold over many friends in their various disciplines. Despite being the most unproductive artist of, possibly, all time, I've even been on sabbatical from that, and have rigorously rejected every 'should' in my life for years and years and the answer I keep coming up with is - I must endeavour to stop creating an expectation in others that I may have talent, insight or something worth saying. It's almost working. (sigh - my ego is huge)
I also love the paradox of 'deep waters and swift currents'...I take it you mean the depths and the depths and not the antonymous currents that swifts make abreast the storm?
Posted by: JB | October 09, 2007 at 06:35 AM
This is a fine, sporting attitude to Michaelmas term, and far better than mine, which is generally to feel like I have been tied to the tracks of the railroad that are now screaming with vibrations as the express train hurtles towards me. I used to be a binge writer, but I gave it up. Now I try to crawl through a painfully slow amount of words most days. I don't know that there's a solution.
Posted by: litlove | November 27, 2007 at 07:55 AM
This is a fine, sporting attitude to Michaelmas term, and far better than mine, which is generally to feel like I have been tied to the tracks of the railroad that are now screaming with vibrations as the express train hurtles towards me. I used to be a binge writer, but I gave it up. Now I try to crawl through a painfully slow amount of words most days. I don't know that there's a solution.
Posted by: litlove | November 27, 2007 at 07:56 AM
This is a fine, sporting attitude to Michaelmas term, and far better than mine, which is generally to feel like I have been tied to the tracks of the railroad that are now screaming with vibrations as the express train hurtles towards me. I used to be a binge writer, but I gave it up. Now I try to crawl through a painfully slow amount of words most days. I don't know that there's a solution.
Posted by: litlove | November 27, 2007 at 07:56 AM
Barry & Pete & I have decided the most direct route to good writing is a foursome at bridge and drinks. We'll be in our usual corner booth at the Cafe of All Knowledge.
Posted by: Fred Buck | December 02, 2007 at 06:55 AM
Blogs are so informative where we get lots of information on any topic. Nice job keep it up!!
Posted by: Masters Dissertation | November 07, 2009 at 08:17 AM